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I'm a copywriter, I'm the Pope

A copywriter is a superhero, a plumber, and the Pope. All at once.
When I was a kid my favourite activity was trying new things. Not just playing the guitar, nor dressing up dolls, nor baking cakes. Nah. I liked to be an expert on stuff. I had an insatiable hunger for anything that was fresh, new, surprising.
To me people were possibilities. What features of the new Beyblade could my schoolmate show me? What obscure gardening theory on why tomatoes grew so big last summer could my neighbour explain to me? What new layer of sedimentary rock could my cousin take me to look for on the next weekend hike?

If you couldn’t show me anything new, I wasn’t interested in spending my time with you.

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Me, while forcing you to show me something new.
I still abide by that rule. Pretty harsh, I know. As any good daughter would do, I blame my social oddity on my parents.
They always told me I could become anything I wanted to be. Seeing that I wanted to know about everything, they should have foreseen that I would have wanted to be everything. A superhero, a plumber, the Pope. I know, to be a Pope you must be a man. But I was planning on becoming a man too. I was going to be all of that and much, much more. All at once.

Then, in elementary school, an unreasonable teacher told me I had to choose only one profession.

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One of the professions that my unreasonable teacher considered reasonable.
Can you believe it? I had to choose weather I was going to be a superhero or a plumber. According to her I could become a superhero, but it was simply impossible for me to become a Pope.
Needless to say, that didn’t sit well. How could I possibly come to terms with such a ridiculous idea? So I never did.
Since then I’ve been reading, watching, listening, asking questions. I’ve been studying to know as much as possible about how to master one’s superpowers, what new faucet screens cleaning techniques have been developed, and what theological interpretation of the Bible is at the chore of the latest encyclical.
I bounce back and forth from topic to topic, from idea to idea, always in search of that fresh, new, exciting thing to add to my personal collection. And then, I tell all I know to the next available person. Because, obviously, I am an expert.
But what do my distinct identity confusion and delusional childhood dreams have to do with being a copywriter? Well, being a copywriter allows me to be anything I want by looking for fresh, new, exciting things to engross myself in, become an expert on, and tell anyone about.

Hence, as a copywriter I am a superhero, a plumber, the Pope, and much, much more. All at once.